Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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