I wannas sexs uuuuu
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize