That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
