Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
