We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
is that a dick in a sweater?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
