once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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