oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
its liver damage thursday
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
