I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The adults are the big ones right?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
