I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
