The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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