ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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