I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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