I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
