dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
