i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
