Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
last night I used snow as a chaser
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
