the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
