maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
