You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
