The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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