I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize