I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize