Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
