I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
