Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize