would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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