So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
