i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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