I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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