Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
