Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
