That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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