so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
