? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
