Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm too high and old for this...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
