I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
