I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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