he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
