You made me cry and you don't even care
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
