physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
