i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
