? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you had me at cake vodka
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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