Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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