Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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