We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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