He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
