can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
