Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
