how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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