No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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