ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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