you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
