Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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