worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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