i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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