I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
