Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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