I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
