Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
