Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
